I agree in some instances experiencing trauma can bring about positive change and build resilience, however this is usually only possible if the traumatized individual has enough support around them in the form of positive friends, family and psychological/spiritual mentors and of cause groups like R&R definitely help. Trauma can be an agent for change but a traumatized individual can’t do this own their own or without the right help and intervention. Ultimately the individual also needs to want to find the positives and move forward as well !
Thought-provoking post, trying to work out my own stance on it. Overall I like the “post-traumatic growth” concept and can relate to it. I think it’s a concept to tread carefully with, though.
Yes, we can grow from our traumas and in many ways they make us the people we are today. But the first quote in the article lists rape as such a trauma, for example. How can we promote growth concepts while avoiding any pitfalls like “oh she was raped, but look at all the fantastic personal growth she’ll get out of that!”?
To me, growth is a silver lining of trauma and a way for us to create meaning from it. But it doesn’t make the trauma a good thing.
People who have been through these experiences usually become the spokes person for others. Making sure that the support is there that they possibly never had and then advocating and educating for prevention and behaviour change.
As a daughter of a woman who suffered sexual abuse, I think intergenerational trauma and the effects of is underestimated.
People try to hide their trauma usually due to shame and stigma and therefore they never actually properly move through it the coping behaviours are then passed onto their children and then their childrens children until the cycle is broken.
I'm not sure post-traumatic growth is meant to cover up the event and pretend everything is rosy.
I think it's more about choosing to not let the event define you, learn what you can from it, and try to live a great life and help others who maybe going thru something similar.
Of course it can. In fact, I think it's wasted if it isn't. It can give you the wake up call or kick up the arse you might need.
It's a lot like when someone with substance abuse issues finally hits rock bottom and does something about it. It's ugly and harmful to both them and those around them. But without going through that low, things never get bad enough for them to do something about it, and they'll never get to see the opportunities that lie on the other side.
No matter what happens in life, you always have a choice between making good and bad choices. Often it's hard to decipher which is which, particularly in a traumatised state, but there is always a choice.
Insightful as always, Sambo. And I think when we combine your comment with Courtney and Debs, we find a nice point. Trauma can be a catalyst for good, but it requires support and acknowledging the damage it has done and might do in the future.
Yeah, an I didn’t mean to silver linings it. Trauma sucks. But some of the greatest movements in history were born out of traumatic experiences. If not for traumatic experiences of your own, R4R doesn’t exist. I think it’s irresponsible to assume that good can and will automatically come from something traumatic. But in the right environment, incredible things can be born from a traumatic experience.
I think when you’ve experienced trauma in your early childhood or adolescence. You will deal with what life throws at you without falling apart.
As in trauma teachers you to separate yourself from what’s happening. I think it’s common for people to do this, so they don’t crumble.
Like if I have had to discuss certain events in my life, I will dissociate myself from what’s happened.
The emotional aspect can hit at times when there’s been a trigger sure.
I wonder if part of the growth steams from looking in at the situation rather than being apart of it.
You might view money or status differently, so your views on society change.
By all of this, you can understand how people work. You can bring humour to life and the shit it throws your way and help others who are going through stuff.
Spiritually, I believe that takes time.
But for people who decide they will not lay down and be defeated. It’s more like saying “I am not going to oppressed by what’s happened” Like fuck that.
But that comes down to personality - not always your support.
Ohhh disassociation is so common Aliza and as you said, is a coping mechanism to survive but which becomes ingrained into other aspects of life.
Such memories are often suppressed for protecting too which is why we often see people reporting abuse years later. It's usually safety that results in the suppressed memories from resurfacing.
There is definitely a link between suppression and illness. When the Body Says No by Gabor Mate might be of interest to you :). I read it recently and it just made sense.
It's hard to get the balance sometimes isn't it? Don't talk at all or talking too much can be equally problematic.
Just to elaborate with my first paragraph. I’m not sure how it goes for people effected by trauma in their adulthood only.
There are many different situations and different individuals. Two people with a similar traumatic event, could be the polar opposite in how they move forward within their lifetime.
When you’re a kid. You don’t know any different, life is the way it is.
My point was, if you’ve already dealt with trauma earlier in your lifetime. You may be able to handle things differently and hold on with firm resilience, compared to others.
I’m not sure if there’s a tipping point though. Like how much one person can take. Then it does come down to your support.
Hey Aliza, I understand what you’re saying and I think there’s quite a bit that points to an optimal level of stress that can facilitate growth.
As the comments above point out, the growth can occur more consistently with good support networks and coping mechanisms. However, much like physical activity, if we put ourselves under too much duress and don’t ‘recover’, we can get injured either temporarily or permanently.
I think you’re right that stress in childhood can lead to some effective coping mechanisms that help us navigate life better, but the same logic applies. If a child or adolescent is exposed to too much stress, it can significantly impact our coping mechanisms for the worse.
I agree in some instances experiencing trauma can bring about positive change and build resilience, however this is usually only possible if the traumatized individual has enough support around them in the form of positive friends, family and psychological/spiritual mentors and of cause groups like R&R definitely help. Trauma can be an agent for change but a traumatized individual can’t do this own their own or without the right help and intervention. Ultimately the individual also needs to want to find the positives and move forward as well !
Hey Debs, I think you're right, and similar to Courtney's comment below, I'm not sure I can add any value to what you've said. Great comment.
Well said Debs! :)
Couldn't agree more. Support matters.
Thought-provoking post, trying to work out my own stance on it. Overall I like the “post-traumatic growth” concept and can relate to it. I think it’s a concept to tread carefully with, though.
Yes, we can grow from our traumas and in many ways they make us the people we are today. But the first quote in the article lists rape as such a trauma, for example. How can we promote growth concepts while avoiding any pitfalls like “oh she was raped, but look at all the fantastic personal growth she’ll get out of that!”?
To me, growth is a silver lining of trauma and a way for us to create meaning from it. But it doesn’t make the trauma a good thing.
Courtney, I think you're right and I think you've articulated it really well. I don't have much, if anything to add to it. Thank you!
Agree "Trauma it self isn't a good thing". But good things can come from it.
Well said Courtney :).
People who have been through these experiences usually become the spokes person for others. Making sure that the support is there that they possibly never had and then advocating and educating for prevention and behaviour change.
As a daughter of a woman who suffered sexual abuse, I think intergenerational trauma and the effects of is underestimated.
People try to hide their trauma usually due to shame and stigma and therefore they never actually properly move through it the coping behaviours are then passed onto their children and then their childrens children until the cycle is broken.
I'm not sure post-traumatic growth is meant to cover up the event and pretend everything is rosy.
I think it's more about choosing to not let the event define you, learn what you can from it, and try to live a great life and help others who maybe going thru something similar.
We are not what happens to us.
Of course it can. In fact, I think it's wasted if it isn't. It can give you the wake up call or kick up the arse you might need.
It's a lot like when someone with substance abuse issues finally hits rock bottom and does something about it. It's ugly and harmful to both them and those around them. But without going through that low, things never get bad enough for them to do something about it, and they'll never get to see the opportunities that lie on the other side.
No matter what happens in life, you always have a choice between making good and bad choices. Often it's hard to decipher which is which, particularly in a traumatised state, but there is always a choice.
Insightful as always, Sambo. And I think when we combine your comment with Courtney and Debs, we find a nice point. Trauma can be a catalyst for good, but it requires support and acknowledging the damage it has done and might do in the future.
Yeah, an I didn’t mean to silver linings it. Trauma sucks. But some of the greatest movements in history were born out of traumatic experiences. If not for traumatic experiences of your own, R4R doesn’t exist. I think it’s irresponsible to assume that good can and will automatically come from something traumatic. But in the right environment, incredible things can be born from a traumatic experience.
bang on!
I think when you’ve experienced trauma in your early childhood or adolescence. You will deal with what life throws at you without falling apart.
As in trauma teachers you to separate yourself from what’s happening. I think it’s common for people to do this, so they don’t crumble.
Like if I have had to discuss certain events in my life, I will dissociate myself from what’s happened.
The emotional aspect can hit at times when there’s been a trigger sure.
I wonder if part of the growth steams from looking in at the situation rather than being apart of it.
You might view money or status differently, so your views on society change.
By all of this, you can understand how people work. You can bring humour to life and the shit it throws your way and help others who are going through stuff.
Spiritually, I believe that takes time.
But for people who decide they will not lay down and be defeated. It’s more like saying “I am not going to oppressed by what’s happened” Like fuck that.
But that comes down to personality - not always your support.
That’s my two sense anyway.
Ohhh disassociation is so common Aliza and as you said, is a coping mechanism to survive but which becomes ingrained into other aspects of life.
Such memories are often suppressed for protecting too which is why we often see people reporting abuse years later. It's usually safety that results in the suppressed memories from resurfacing.
One of mates told me that she believed I got in cancer in my mouth, because I suppressed a lot of things.
At the time I thought she was being way too hippy for how I was feeling. But hey, years on I get her.
That spiritually thing, if you’re angry will take time.
I do believe suppressing creates internal health problems.
At the same time continued talking and dwelling isn’t great either.
I think people need support sure, but there’s also a line of debilitating people. We always need to get back up.
There is definitely a link between suppression and illness. When the Body Says No by Gabor Mate might be of interest to you :). I read it recently and it just made sense.
It's hard to get the balance sometimes isn't it? Don't talk at all or talking too much can be equally problematic.
Just to elaborate with my first paragraph. I’m not sure how it goes for people effected by trauma in their adulthood only.
There are many different situations and different individuals. Two people with a similar traumatic event, could be the polar opposite in how they move forward within their lifetime.
When you’re a kid. You don’t know any different, life is the way it is.
My point was, if you’ve already dealt with trauma earlier in your lifetime. You may be able to handle things differently and hold on with firm resilience, compared to others.
I’m not sure if there’s a tipping point though. Like how much one person can take. Then it does come down to your support.
Hey Aliza, I understand what you’re saying and I think there’s quite a bit that points to an optimal level of stress that can facilitate growth.
As the comments above point out, the growth can occur more consistently with good support networks and coping mechanisms. However, much like physical activity, if we put ourselves under too much duress and don’t ‘recover’, we can get injured either temporarily or permanently.
I think you’re right that stress in childhood can lead to some effective coping mechanisms that help us navigate life better, but the same logic applies. If a child or adolescent is exposed to too much stress, it can significantly impact our coping mechanisms for the worse.