Outside of my Comfort Zone with R4R
A guest article from Clare Carey
Welcome to the sixth edition of Guest Articles, where we hand the reins of the Rag over to our community. Our community can write about whatever they want, the only requirement is that it strengthens our community or helps us achieve our goal of making Canberra suicide-free.
This week, we hear Clare Carey, who regularly shares her insights through
.
Outside of my Comfort Zone with R4R
When people first meet me, they say I'm shy, reserved, and quiet. I am all of these things until I get to know people.
I'm a semi-regular at R4R; the first two times I attended was with a friend. He bent his regular gym schedule because he knows I don't like going to things where I don't know anybody. Whenever I attended R4R on my own, I'd usually listen to the pre-run/walk chat and then put my headphones in and run; I'm a slow runner, so most people are generally finished by the time I return. I go to Trivia at 7:30 at a different location on a Wednesday, so I'd often head straight back to the car.
I love what R4R represents, its mission, and how it connects people. People know someone will always be there at 6:15 a.m. on Monday and Friday and 6 p.m. on Wednesday. No matter what is going on, someone will be there. R4R has got you.
I've managed to attend a couple of times since returning from a work trip, and while I'm not up to running yet, I've enjoyed a couple of walks and chats with Tim from
. Before finding Tim, I often stand awkwardly by myself, scanning the crowd for someone I know. Ellie is always a friendly face who says hello each time, and I enjoy my small chats with her, too. I've connected to some of the members of R4R through substack blogs. I've still never met Sam from , but after meeting through our blogs, I met Tim and Brent from , and it was Ben from , who I knew from working together at Brumbies who encouraged me to start a blog and come down to R4R (via the comments section of his blog).I've read many personal development and psychology books over the last few years. Some have led me to revisit the most hurt parts of myself, while others have helped me understand people better and become more compassionate with every story I read.
Lost Connections (Hari, 2018) taught me how much humans need to be connected to other humans to survive—a genuine, deep connection that requires authenticity and vulnerability. To enable authenticity and vulnerability, we need safety. R4R provides a safe environment for others to connect and be themselves.
Despite this safety and opportunity to form new connections, I will always step out of my comfort zone when attending R4R. I'm often proud of myself just for turning up, despite not knowing who will be there. I find large groups intimidating, and it can be even more so when you see groups of friends chatting away with each other while you stand awkwardly by yourself, watching on. People like me rely on the people who naturally approach and start a conversation with someone they don't know. That's the beauty of our differences: we balance each other out. I also know that change is possible, and one day, I will be brave enough to approach and talk with someone I don't know.
So if you see someone standing around, watching the crowd, they may want to connect, but they don't know how to start, or it's not their nature to approach someone and say hello. If you are one of these people standing and watching, I feel you and congratulate you for showing up.
We can improve mental health if we work together as a community.
You know something we don’t, your message will resonate with someone we can’t, and your article will set an example for others to follow. Over time, articles from our community will strengthen our connection, build our mental health IQ, and better equip our community to pursue our goal. So, please… If you’d like to write a guest article, please click on the link below… and if you think you’re opinion isn’t worth hearing… with all due respect… you’re wrong.
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This is me at Wednesday R4R! I feel so awkward and anxious in big groups so I pretty much only go to Monday and Friday now. The M/F crew are so so lovely, and it’s a lot more gentle if you get sensory overload as well. If you can come in the mornings it’s well worth it.
Wow this is relatable - 100% me as well. Thank you for sharing Clare ☺️