Stronger together.
My thumb hovered above the post button as I considered whether I really wanted to do it. I had just been through the hardest part of my life and now I was wanting to share my story to help others.
Before I knew it, I’d pressed the button and my story was shared. I quickly turned my phone off and began running. I didn’t want to think about it but I didn’t want to undo what I’d just done either.
I ran as fast as I could, my heart was pounding, and as I reached the end of my run, I looked out over the horizon and began thinking about how my story might have been received.
I turned my phone on and the first message I saw was from a good friend, sharing a glimpse of his story in support of my own.
I wasn’t met with silence, I wasn’t met with ridicule, I was met with support, a feeling that I wasn’t alone in my struggles, and validation that I had done the right things to overcome them.
The benefit of hindsight.
When R4R started, it was me telling my story to the world to try and help others… or at least that’s how I felt at the time. With the benefit of hindsight, I was also telling my story to seek validation that I was doing the right things.
Losing my Dad to suicide also meant I lost my sounding board, and by sharing my Dad’s story, I was yelling into the ether hoping my working was correct. And when I did, it was yelled back with interest.
People were either going through something similar or had been through it all and learnt the same lessons. R4R quickly became a concept that people both supported and believed in, not just to help others, but to help themselves.
R4R is more than the sum of its parts
As each person contributed to R4R, they’ve added their own weave to the basket that’s catching people to this day. And by adding their own weave to the basket, they’re also being supported by the weaves already there.
The more stories and contributions that are made to our community, the stronger we are together, and seemingly in this scenario, the stronger we are together, the more resilient we are alone… which kicks off the whole process again.
What our community has done is special.
We’ve created a community that not only believes in people’s pain and their ability to overcome it, we’ve created a blueprint for people to try and comprehend their struggle and respond to it in a sustainably resilient way.
That we aren’t what happens to us, we are how we respond, and that there are people out there who believe in our struggle and our ability to overcome it.
Yes, that first time that you share your story. As a recovering alcoholic I thought that people would believe that my mental health issues were self-induced, that my experiences weren't somehow genuine. Telling your story at a 12-step meeting or in a SMART Recovery meeting is (normally) safe and won't go outside of the room. Putting your story into writing or having it broadcast on the radio, TV or recorded and available on YouTube for everyone to see and judge? That's a whole new ball game. When I was selected to be in the cast of the first ever This Is My Brave show to be performed outside of the USA, I was excited, but also apprehensive. My cast mates had some harrowing stories, mine seemed trivial by comparison. Knowing that the show would be recorded and available on YouTube was a scary thought. Yet, as you also experienced, there was no ridicule only support and "You've just told my story and given me the motivation to tell my story" reactions.
Recently, part of my story was recorded and published as a series of videos entitled the Network Effect. At the launch, I again felt like a bit of an imposter, but again received only positive feedback and someone has contacted the ACT Mental Health Consumer Network (ACTMHCN) to ask if I can contact them as they shared a similar toxic workplace experience.
I have used my lived experience in my volunteer work as a consumer representative on several ACT Health Directorate Committees, as a peer-educator at the ACT Recovery College and at the ACTMHCN and in my previous job, managing a mental health/drug & alcohol residential rehab facility.
I hope to be joining the Running for Resilience Friday morning runs soon as part of my preparation for the 2025 London Marathon and look forward to meeting others that are Running for Resilience.