Shit happens, sometimes all at once.
After last week’s article on story telling, we received an email from someone who wishes to remain anonymous. It’s a powerful story, a beautiful example of resilience, and a reminder about how special our community is… and why it is too.
If you’ve got a story you’d like to share, please email us at run4resilience@gmail.com
On a recent R4R Run I remembered a moment from last year
I could have chosen to stay in the kitchen and do what I had to do, but I ran up a mountain. There, I encountered the most stunning full and double rainbow. It was a really special moment for me.
I think it is symbolic of keeping moving so I can rise above my circumstances.
In brief, my story includes being a carer to my father and managing his health decisions, farm, and finances for 6 years, and finally his palliative care; having to leave my husband and care for our 3 kids; and caring for my son through self harming.
I find each one of those difficult to explain, let alone believe how I got through when all those 3 events happened simultaneously. I often said that shit happens, sometimes all at once, which would make me laugh.
Behind the humour though, I felt as if a volcano was going to erupt... and then it did.
Dad passed away late on Christmas Eve 2022, 6 weeks after I had moved house with the kids, dog, and chooks in tow. After Dad passed, I was barely functional. The exhaustion, grief, and trauma took over. Not so much about his passing, but that I had no time to seek help or process any of the major events that happened in the short time.
I have a lot of memory loss from that time. My bad days would come, sometimes like a freight train that hit me unexpectedly, sometimes I could feel it approaching slowly and have to stop anything and everything I was doing until it passed. All I could do was acknowledge it for what it was and be kind to myself.
I was running 5 kms daily with my music. It was good but not great. I was yet to discover how great it is when you run in a community.
Six months on I felt that while I was alive, I had died inside.
By chance, I came across a newspaper article headline that caught my eye "Why 2013 sent a legend into a dark hole" (Sunday Canberra Times May 21 2023,p.50 - it still sits next to my desk). Reading it, I found the info on R4R. I couldn't believe it was something actually happening in Canberra. So I showed up to my first R4R in mid June 2023.
I'd like to say the rest is history, but it isn't. It was a new beginning. My recovery came through enjoying new adventures like City 2 Surf and other running with purpose events, the generosity of R4R members, reaching out for counselling, accepting help offered, holding onto my faith, reducing my wine intake, writing as encouraged by Sam from
, immersing myself in nature, making new friends, establishing non-negotiables (as Dan Fussell once shared) and healthy boundaries, volunteering at events, and letting go of expectations.Late in 2023, my son's depression had progressed despite medication and psychology sessions. He had real plans to end his life and was hopitalised for a medication change.
During that time and after, I had many moments of providence such as Dinesh running along side me when I was in the most frightening era of my life, and R4R friends share their personal experiences caring for their children. Each one made me stronger and better equipped to face our future with hope.
I had no idea that this running group and the powerful vision R4R stands for would help me support my son through his darkest days. You can count that as 2 lives saved in 2023.
I am passionate about the message of R4R and to stand with those who are doing it tough to Just. Keep. Moving. To keep going through the motions even when you can't see what is ahead, or when all that you see is scary.
And so when I see the weekly question about what does resilience mean to you?, To me, it means (Non P.C. version):
Doing the best you can in tough, shitty circumstances/moments in life, using every bit of strength you can to reach out for help and keep moving, and coming through a wiser, stronger and more compassionate person.
The Blood Run
Join the Running for Resilience team at 6pm on the 29th of July for a run from The Dock, followed by a screening of The Blood Run movie at 7:15pm, with all proceeds going to the Leukaemia Foundation.
Well done, Jess!
“This years generosity has blown me away. Thank you all so much for all of your generous donations making my personal contribution to Bravehearts just over $128k my teams amount just shy of $147k and the total for the entire 777 marathon over $700k for 2024. Let’s go for $1mil in 2025.”
Such a beautifully written story. I needed to hear you this morning as I try to support one of my teens through some very dark times. Thank you ❤️
Thanks for sharing your story